I was a victim of emotional abuse while growing up, probably indeliberate, but was what it was, and of course in the hands of dem helpers. Not until recently, I didn’t find a best fit to describe it all. It birthed a whole lot, timidity, fear, self esteem issues, name them.
Looking back, I wish I was confident enough to speak up, tell it all to my parents, but fear took a better part of me. A fear I couldn’t explain, of the unknown, but then it was just a phase yeah.
I started boarding school at a year old or two younger than my classmates, this wasn’t an excuse for not adapting or coping yeah. Well…I adapted and coped in my junior classes, albeit couldn’t find myself. I was always there but not there, care free about a lot, I heard I was quiet, slow, lol, if only the knew the thoughts racing in my head. I said I was care free yeah, my academics inclusives, this girl could care less.
I’m not yet there, I’m a work in progress.
Getting into university and conquering all these, was a big turning point. Oh! Did I mention my school was a Christian university? Lol, so imagine the number of church services I had to attend. At the time, I was sometimes grumbly, but looking back, I’m most grateful. In the process, I developed a beautiful relationship with Abba, found myself to a certain extent, became success hungry which was evident in and out of school work, disposed the timidity, got a self esteem boost and many others.
All through last year, I was on a self discovery path, I haven’t discovered it all yet, but so far, I like. In this new light, I have had people question my being strongwilled, inflexibility or rigidity better put, I laugh it off always because they don’t have the slightest idea. At the end of the day, I’m grateful for it all with no actual regrets as all these has aided in my BECOMING.
I’m beautiful, resilient, passionate, confident, overly ambitious, not regular, confident, graced, loyal, socially awkward, purposeful, inflexible, unique, introverted-extrovert-ambivert-ISH.
I am a Woman, I am BECOMING all I’m destined to be and many more…
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY in a teeny-weeny arrear to all amazing Women out there.
Here’s to strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.